Just one thing on our list

"Ah, crap". That was the first thing that ran through my mind when my good friend, Erik, emailed Josh and I this song about adoption. I thought at first it was one of those "Gotcha Day" videos and I just can't handle those. I start sobbing and cannot stop.

This song, All I Really Want, is from the perspective of a child who wants to be adopted into a loving, forever family. I'd say that our song has the same title this Christmas. All we really want for Christmas is to bring our baby home (and to see a handful/ a hundred other families join in this kingdom call to reach out to the millions of children growing up as orphans).

Taking it off

My classes are finished for this semester. My interim season at work has come to a close. I thought I would be running around, shouting for joy, but I've been feeling pretty down. After three days I am just beginning to relax. I've been wound up so tightly and finding myself completely unable to concentrate. I've been on overdrive since July and I am completely wiped out. Not to mention this weather seriously gives me the blues (as it does most Oregonians).

The good news is that after being honest with a couple of wise people in my life about how I'm feeling and where I'm at, I have decided to take a few days off of work, even though we are staying in town for the holidays. I have previously engaged in the pattern of taking just one day off here and there. I find I usually have such high expectations for that day; my main goal is to get a lot done. I want to wake up early and conquer the world. Those are good days, but I'm not there now. I'm hopeful that with a few consecutive days off I will be able to go through times of rest and busyness, moments of productivity and days of leisurely filling my tank in ways that refresh and rejuvenate my body and soul. I'm looking forward to connecting with the Father. I hope I will begin to feel like myself again with the simple treasure of time and space to process and unwind.

Come to think of it, and after two cups of coffee, I am slowly beginning to look forward to the fun activities that are on our calendar in the next two weeks, between now and the New Year. We get to have tons of dinner dates with cool couples and dear friends, Bates family photo-shoot (haven't been done since 1997, aka 7th grade), a hair cut for me!, Survivor Finale, my first small grouper's wedding, Christmas (duh), New Year's Eve, the Rose Bowl and my favorite preacher giving a year-end message. Good things are in store!

What are you looking forward to between now and 2010?

(Tricky title for this post, huh?).

Specifically Ethiopia

This is from my husband's post last night address at a very basic level why we were compelled to adopt from Ethiopia specifically.

• One in six children die before their fifth birthday

• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old
• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition
• The median age in Ethiopia is 17.8 years
• 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world)
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia.
• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa
• In the 90s the population (3%) grew faster than food production (2.2%)• Drought struck the country from 2000-2002 (first year no crops, second year no seeds, third year no animals)
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.
• Coffee prices (Ethiopia’s only major export) fell 40-60% from 1998-2002.
• Ethiopia’s doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000.
• In 1993, after 30 long years of war, Eritrea broke from Ethiopia and became an independent nation leaving Ethiopia landlocked without any major seafaring ports

Guest Blogger: In His Words

"A 3-year struggle with infertility led to some significant fears of getting pregnant. This was met this past spring with a word from a trusted voice in our lives that they felt that God had told them that we would get pregnant. This required faith and confirmation, both of which we felt we received.

The mental, emotional, and financial investment inherent with infertility was gone! However, the desire to start a family was not. The someday/maybe plans of adoption began to be discussed with increasing regularity and desire. What seemed like an eventual possibility was becoming our preferred means of starting our family.

Obstacle one was the money. After doing the math we realized it wasn't within our means to adopt within the next 12 months. We could put around 10K towards the adoption over the coming year (a little less than half) but not nearly enough. This stopped it for me (Josh). I figured that I wasn't going to invest in something I knew at the onset I couldn't afford and I wasn't comfortable writing support letters for an adoption (nothing against those who are). I knew that God could change our financial situation to make up the difference but in these days this was going to be a stretch.

We decided to read more about adoption and picked up "Adopted for Life." It turned out to be a phenomenal book about both the theological and practical aspects of adoption. Warning: if you read this book, you will most likely end up adopting. (And, honestly, would that be so bad??).

The book addressed the money issue and encouraged potential adopters to not let it be the primary reason for choosing not to adopt. The author's own experience testified to the faith stretching and fulfilling experience of watching God provide. I (Josh) was willing to not let money completely derail the subject. However, I still wasn't going to ask for money. Ironically, in preparing for a weekend message, I read a little more broadly about the life of George Mueller and was challenged by his conviction to step out in faith to care for orphans (10,024) while never soliciting money. He believed (like Hudson Taylor) that through prayer we can move the hand of God to draw people's hearts towards Him and His work in the world--this was evidenced by him never going into debt during the building of his five orphanages, receiving more than $2,700,000 in unsolicited funds. Dang.

God reminded me during this season of my bias in calling students to connect their lives with God's work in the unreached sections of the globe. I challenge them not to wait for writing in the sky but to follow the commands given in Scripture and to allow God to shut doors if his plan for them entails something different. We challenge them to make the statement: "I am committed, if God allows, to give my life as a foreign...." I felt God ask me in regards to adoption, "Josh, why would this be any different? Why do you need what I've said in Scripture to be confirmed with something supernaturally specific for you to simply start heading in the directions I've laid out in Scripture? You don't look for writing in the sky to determine whether you should love your neighbor, forgive, tithe, serve, pray, and share the gospel, why this?" I felt a deepening conviction that God prefers to stop us from heading further in good directions rather than start us heading in good directions.

I remember waking up Friday frustrated that I hadn't had a dream. I remember frustrated in my devotions Friday morning that nothing from Scripture seemed to relate or confirm. I was very clearly not getting those Hansel and Gretel breadcrumbs. Granted, I had peace, support, commands from Scripture, interest and support from friends and family but no dream, no line in the sand moment. I remember that sometimes God confirms after we take steps of faith, not before. I wondered what would happen in the days to come having a good sense that we were going to go through with this.

Halfway through the next day, Saturday, my mind was taken back to the earlier money issue. I randomly recalled saying to Becca that God could always change our money situation but that there was no reason on the horizon to suggest He would. Then my mind went back to the prior Wednesday, three days earlier. That day I received news of some unexpected money in response to some recent speaking opportunities. Lest you think I'm super-spiritual (not sure why you would), I didn't connect the dots on that surprise and the issue at hand until three days later, after we'd decided to step forward in faith. Ah, wow--how funny and cool is that."

-Josh Mann (for more from Josh head on over to his blog and chime in)

Seasons and stuff

I'm at my desk at home, full and sleepy, after a delicious Chipotle dinner (I swear the girl who scooped my salsa totally acted like she knew me... We might be making progress). I'm listening to Desert Song because I need it tonight. I love coming back to what is true in the face of questions and emotions. I have the space heater blasting but I still can't feel my fingers. I'm wearing my vintage Oregon sweatshirt, flannel PJ pants, a scarf and a cute flower headband thingy. I look like a gypsy (which is near perfect style in my book).

Today I Skyped with my amazing friend Jocelyn and her husband Luke, who live in the Middle East. That's right. They live in the Middle East. Crazy, huh? They just got Internet in their house and it was so great to see her face and hear her voice. I was at work so I had no microphone and no camera. It was funny because I had to type everything and then I got to hear and see them respond. I miss them so bad. So bad. They have only been gone for 3 months, which means they won't be back for 1 year and 9 months. Wow. That's depressing. My dream is to visit them on our way to get Baby Fatty but I'm just not sure how that will shake down.

I'm a recovering shopper. It's been in process for over 4 years and it is hard work. I used to shop and have fun clothes and style and it was awesome. Then I grew up and started making responsible choices. Turns out you can't have it all. It's my own personal reformation. Especially now with Baby Fatty on the way we cannot spend like any money. But.... you see, I'm going to a wedding this month where there will be young, hip, cool college kids and I have been going through a bad hair month and my skin is freaking out and furthermore I'm extremely pale. So I bought this AMAZING dress. AMAZING. When I saw it I thought, "I've been looking for you my whole life". If I could design a dress this is what it would look like. So I bought it. I cannot afford it. That money should go to Baby Fatty. It came to my house today via UPS. I tried it on, twirled around, smiled at myself and placed in it my car to return this weekend. It feels good, though. I'm doing the right thing. I am reforming. Slowly but surely.

I found a new way to shop at Target without buying 40 extra things. A) Make a list. Der. Eeveryone knows that. B) Talk on the phone. This might shock you because I'm not what you call a "big phone talker”. But today after work I needed some "in-between time" to decompress from work before coming home. I had a list of 7 things to pick up at Target and the kind of afternoon where I just needed to talk it out with my dad. So I called him on my way. We are both just a little talkative when you get us started, so we chatted for 35 minutes (until my phone died) as I paced around the store and in between the aisles. I realized when I arrived home that I only bought the things on my list! Hurrah.

How did this happen? A) Holding my purse, my shopping basket and my phone was just killing my arm and neck and making me drop things periodically so I wasn't really able to grab anything else. B) I was so into what I was saying and what my dad was saying back that though I wandered and looked at many pretty things, I had moved on to another brilliant point before having the time to seriously consider purchasing Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Lemon Verbena shower spray or seasonal flannel sheets with snowflakes or some assorted gender neutral baby items (It was soooo hard. I saw this off-white I love Mommy onesie...)

It's December 9th which means I'm about 3 weeks away from completing a challenging season in ministry. My partner in crime had a baby this summer and was blessed to take five whole months off. Our staff as a whole and my department in particular was in the middle of some huge transitions and heading into a very busy ministry season. Thankfully, Project: Back to School, Thanksgiving baskets, Feed Hope: Food and Book Drive, Angel Tree, Broadway Life Center Design Team, Foster Parents' Night Out, Grant mentors and more all have gone off without a hitch! Praise God. Throw in Swine Flu, New York, a boss who was in the Middle East for 2 weeks and my other co-worker having a baby and it's clear that God provided everything I/ we needed in this season.

We continue have hundreds of volunteers who reach out in tangible ways to bless our community by meeting real needs in Jesus' name. To top it off, God has once again proven himself as more than capable of carrying me, shaping my heart and developing my leadership along the way. It's been a joy (mostly) to step up and fill in some gaps during this interim season. I've developed new relationships with volunteers and watched all kinds of people honor God and model Christ as we do real things to touch the lives of real people right in our community. And… make no mistake; I'm ready for a break! Haha.

I scheduled my six-month cleaning at the dentist today and it was weird thinking about June 15th and wondering where we might be in this adoption process. Just maybe we will have our dossier sent in and simply waiting for the call about Baby Fatty. CRAZY.

Shout out!

I don't do this often. Maybe not enough. but I am giving out Shout Out today because I can. It’s my blog! I totally, totally believe in this cause and am compelled to get the word out so it can reach it's potential for incredible life impact. I want to tell you about a bomb new movement that you should know about and be a part of, especially if you live in Salem.

Its called Give a Shirt. Yes, you read that right (now say it carefully). Don't you just love it already?

It is the love offering of one of my favorite small group girls to the significant homeless population of students living in Salem. This came about when she did her homework after Salem Alliance’s student ministry team posed a challenge to all students to come up with creative big ideas that hundreds of people like you and me could be a part of to tangibly demonstrate compassion and mercy to people in our community who need it most. About 25 heartfelt ideas were submitted and put through a voting and selection process over a couple months time. Give a Shirt rose to the top. Here is what you will find on the “about” page at www.igiveashirt.org:

Homeless students.

900 of them last year in Salem-Keizer, OR, alone.



Not even 18 years old and life has gotten off to a rough start.



One of the biggest barriers between their present and a better future is their education.



The McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act attempts to remove all barriers to homeless students succeeding in school. It does a great job of this–it provides free transportation, free food, lets them choose any school in the district, and protects them from being discriminated against. One thing it doesn’t do is provide clothes.



What difference do clothes make, don’t they have steeper challenges than that?



Imagine not changing your clothes for the next sixty days.



Many of these students have one outfit. One smelly, dirty, doesn’t quite fit, wouldn’t-wear-it-if-I-had-something-else outfit.



Many of these students, not wanting to smell, stand out, and wear their poverty on their sleeve, only come to school a few days a week. People are less likely to notice if they’re at school less.



Not having more than one outfit is a valid reason to not want to go to school every day.


Not having more than one outfit is a stupid reason to not finishing school someday.



The problem is…there is nothing they can do about it.



The solution is…there is something you can do about it.

What’s that?



GIVE A SHIRT.

Literally.



For every shirt sold $10 will be given to help these local homeless students get the clothes they need.



Get a shirt you want–give a shirt they need.


When you stand out–they blend in.

Now you know. This is a simple, creative opportunity to participate in a small act of compassionate shopping that will make a significant impact on the lives of 900 homeless students living right here in Salem. Do you give a shirt? Prove it!

Photo by Paula Hoffart featuring Whitney- the creative genius behind Give a Shirt.

All of my life

This song has been my anthem for the last year or so (I listen to it every single morning at least once).

It covers a variety of seasons of life but comes back to the promise that God is my victory and He is here. I love this lyric, "All of my life in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship".

This has been and continues to be my prayer in each season of life- the desert, the harvest and every where in between. Through pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility and now adoption this song has just carried me, has been like a theme song that I can keep coming back to, that puts words and music and worship to my heart's cries. It's praise, declaration and desperation; it's conviction and promise; hope in the future and powerful truth in the present.

7%? Is that all?

Recently I stumbled upon this quote:

"If only 7 percent of the 2 billion Christians in the world would care for a single orphan in distress, there would effectively be no more orphans. If everybody would be willing to simply do something to care for one of these precious treasures, I think we would be amazed by just how much we could change the world. We can each do something, whether it is donating, adopting, fostering, mentoring, visiting orphans or supporting families that have taken in orphans. You can change the world for an orphan."

- Steven Curtis Chapman, August 2008

My first thought was "Really? Only 7%? We can do that. People I know, people I love, those I work with and serve with, we could do that!"

Just like our conviction that each Christian has a role to play in completing the Great Commission through giving, praying and going, Josh and I have a growing conviction that as Christ followers we each play a role in caring for orphans. It's good for them. It's great for us. And most importantly it honors our Father and brings glory to His name.

James 1:27 reminds us, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."

Josh and I have been working on making our support system to bring Baby Fatty home simple for those who would like to play their part in changing the life of an orphan baby through a financial contribution. Our goal is to post a PayPal link on my blog in which 100% of donations go directly into an account specially designated for our baby. Look for this early next week! More details on the paperwork chase, updates on our prayer requests and, of course, plenty of personal reflections coming soon.

And, what other questions would you like us to address about this process and our journey to starting a family? Post a comment and we'll answer in an upcoming Q&A post.

A different kind of Black Friday

I'm having just about the perfect morning. My dear loved ones are sleeping upstairs (Jeremy and Erin, Josh and our dog Scout). I'm downstairs watching college football, drinking a big cup of coffee and enjoying the quiet time to reflect. After 48 hours of clouds and rain, it is sunny and bright outside. The dishes are done, the sink is cleaned and the last of the crumbs are swept from the floor. Candles in pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon and pine are all burning, filling the house with delicious seasonal smells. Bean is cuddled up on my lap, content to be the only dog, if only for a moment. Instead of shopping, there is stillness. And I am eating it up. This is soul care. It's been busy lately; long days and full nights. And what I've needed more than sleep is silence. As I have been sitting on the couch I had space in my mind and heart to reflect on yesterday. What a gift yesterday was.

My precious immediate family was over, a mom and daughter I've gotten to know through our furniture ministry came over, and then my incredible brother and sister-in-law drove all through the night from LA to be here, too. I love hosting but I'm not great at it yet. I tend to get a little stressed and take on too much responsibility for how everything goes and how everyone feels and acts. I want our house to be full and lively but I want it to be clean and perfect, too. So once it's done, like today, I think of all of the things I wanted to say in real-time but didn't get to. My dad and mom made an amazing, big turkey and my dad carved it like a pro. My sister brought us coffee and came early to help in the kitchen and to just be my support. My mom was engaged with our guests and helped me clean up. She responds to my cues so fast and she puts up with my stress so graciously (sorry to put you though it, mom!). My bro's are chill and they step up to help with just one word. And Josh is so laid-back and flexible and lets it all roll off his shoulders; he makes everyone feel so relaxed and welcome. Love that guy.

I am so blessed. My life is so good. I have been given so much. I am so thankful. Yesterday was a celebration of all of the gifts given to us by the Father. And today I am grateful for a quiet morning with only the rhythm of the dishwasher and roar of the space heater to sit and reflect and let my mind wander.